When I was a kid, my mom told me I should never sneak peeks at my Christmas presents before the big day. She warned me that if I ever found my presents before December 25th, the discovered items would be returned to the store. My wife grew up with a similar rule and once had to learn her lesson the hard way. There's no better way to keep a kid honest over the holidays. We've kept up this tradition with our son.
Unfortunately, our boy is a Compulsive Rule Follower. This doesn't mean he's perfect or even exceptionally well-behaved. You can find plenty of ways to be bad without breaking any written or verbal code. But when the rules have been spoken and confirmed, this kid takes them extremely seriously. That's why I caused him a minor heart attack when bringing in some groceries a few weeks ago.
"Hey, pal! Guess what! I just got back from the store and one of the things I got is for yooooooou!"
Boy, I'm such a fun dad. He's going to be so excited.
"What do you mean?" Jono asks.
"I got one of your birthday presents!"
Jono immediately covers his eyes and jumps behind a couch.
"No! Why did you do that?! I'm not looking!"
"Oh, hey, pal... it's okay. I have it all wrapped up. You won't be able to see it."
A muffled voice answers from behind a couch cushion. "No, thanks. I'm staying back here."
I go into another room and hide the present.
"It's safe now, Jono. The present is hidden."
"I won't go in that room. I'll never go in there. Is it in the closet?"
"No," I say. "It's... not like last time. I hid it even better!"
"I'm just going to stay back here," Jono says.
"Behind the couch? Forever?"
Silence greets me from beyond the cushions.
Boy, I'm a fun dad.
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