Gaps in our Education

My son, Jono, needs rules. We all need rules, but Jono needs more rules than you do. See, you probably don't belly flop off couches to find out what will happen. But at our house, there's a rule for that. Have you ever needed a rule about when and where it was okay to jump off of furniture and onto your father's neck? We need that rule. It's one of my favorite rules.

Jono has always been a little wild and, as an only child, he sometimes lacked... shall we say... structure. He also lacked the ability to handle most social situations. But that has all been changing this year as Jono has started school. 

Kindergarten is a wonderful thing. It teaches kids a lot of things but it mostly teaches them how to be taught. It teaches them how to sit still and listen to instructions and how to deal with large groups of peers. Jono is absolutely loving it. He loves everything about kindergarten. He loves his teacher. He loves having his own desk and cubby hole. He loves his classmates. And he LOVES the rules.

We knew Jono needed rules and we knew he needed more structure. We didn't know how much he'd love those restrictions, though. In fact, he has become a tyrant of rule-following. For instance, at school, no one is allowed to talk in the halls. Sometimes I'll be walking in the hallway of our home and Jono will frown and tell me not to talk. "There's no talking in the hallway, Dad. That's naughty."

It isn't.

But it's a rule and it must be obeyed. He loves it.

The rule that concerns him most is about walking in single-file lines. There aren't supposed to be any gaps in a kindergarten line. Gaps mean that someone isn't keeping up with the group. Gaps, as I understand it, are the devil. Sometimes when I'm in the checkout line of the grocery store, Jono will have a minor panic attack.

"Dad, there's a GAP!"

Yes, there is. This is America, not France. We have personal bubbles. Also, this is Walmart and the person in front of me smells terrible.

"We can't have any GAPS in the line!"

Yes, good point. Gaps were probably invented by Lucifer.

We've been working on this issue and it's actually getting better. It's given us lots of opportunities to teach Jono not to judge other people if they break the rules, but to only worry about our own behavior. It's even given us some chances to talk about showing people grace, just like Jesus has shown to us. But it's been an ongoing struggle.

The other day, Jono came home from school and confessed that he received the dreaded "name on the board." That means he got a warning for a minor offense but didn't need to get any sort of official reprimand. But when I asked why, his answer shocked me. "I pushed Korbin." WHAT?! VIOLENCE IN SCHOOL?! And not even against one of the kids I DON'T LIKE?! I was ready to switch to a Mennonite church when I realized he only got his name on the board. It couldn't have been a real fight. I asked more questions.

"Where did that happen?"

"In the hall."

"Were you angry?"

"No."

Then I understood. Then I started rubbing my weary eyeballs and groaning.

"There was a gap, wasn't there?"

"Yes! He was leaving a gap! I tried to make him go faster!"

My son went to school the next day and apologized for "helping" Korbin to keep up in line. Through that ordeal, he learned a lot about showing grace to others. He also learned how to make his father suddenly seem very old and tired. Life is full of little lessons. And big gaps.